Thursday, June 23, 2005

Review : Yuva

"And therefore, the universe is not composed of infinitely dense matter." -- Wossname Mukherjea

Yes, of course it isn't. If it were (and Priya, who has a PhD in this stuff, has vouched for this), we would be in a lot of trouble.

This wasn't the most cringe-worthy moment in the movie. (Hoho, and you thought it was, didn't you?)

Let's start with Amitabh Bachchan (that old coot) making love to Rani Mukherjee. And what about Hema Malini (foxy old lady) and Ajay Devgan? (Is Ajay Devgan India's answer to Marlon Brando? If his son kills his daughter's lover, we can be certain. Maybe I'm thinking of Kevin Bacon.) And was I the only one who was uncomfortable about Randhir Kapoor and Suresh Oberoi's obviously sexual friendship? Heck, they was living together and they wasn't even married. For crying out loud!

That said, 'Yuva' is a pretty good movie -- you just have to concentrate real hard on not noticing the resemblance of the faces to those in Sholay (which I watched for the first time a few months ago, and regretted only a little) or any other formulaic Hindi movie. Mani Ratnam is but a humble imitator of Quentin Tarantino's directorial style but way ahead of me. (Hey, I've shot at least 7 hours of video chronicling how my daughter learned to walk, talk, and eat, and not one minute features her slashing at us with a knife, let alone a gun. Umm, she wouldn't exactly slash at us with a gun, she'd shoot us, but hopefully you get the blood-filled picture.) Non-linear story-telling, yes, but none of Quentin's exponential genius. That'll need ditching the song-and-dance of the typical Hindi movie, and replacing it with a few more deaths (in the bathroom, a la John Travolta).

I moved to the US after Roja and Hum Aapke Hain Koun (the soundtrack of which a certain Kamalpreet Singh Joginder – yes, I mean you, Kamal -- played at least 26 times during my third year finals at IITB). "Chocolate, ice-cream ...." Uhhhh. Anyhoo, I've been rather cutoff from the scene, so maybe I'm being rather charitable/uncharitable -- the thought of spending 3 hours on watching something which I eventually consider an absolute waste of time hasn't appealed to me, until Jhen-o-bhia recommended 'Yuva' and started this blog thing, where I can be assured of more readers than my own blog (heck, even I don't ready my past entries, though I do follow my advice to start the day with Google News). Visiting India after 4 and 1/2 years and shopping for Hindi and Marathi (for Priya) DVDs/VCDs like a firang -- with Jhen to egg us on -- helped. Hey Jhen, did you know the dollar cost of these movies is the same as in the US? The dollar to rupee conversion DID NOT HELP. Now back when I was young, you could go to Gupta's Bhelpuri Bhandar and buy a reasonably good plate of Ragda Patties (but spelled 'Pattice') for Rs. 3.25 – you might even have got a Campa-Cola with it. Try that now. Did you warn me? Noooo – I had to wait till MastaCaad sent their statement. But I digress.

The best that can be said of AR Rahman's music in this movie is that it aspires to the theme of the Lord of the Rings, but ends up being like the theme song of the Titanic. I am, of course, ignoring the song-and-dance numbers, which would be fine on MTV-India, but are quite out of place in the middle of a spouse-abuse scene.

And none of the heroes wear helmets when riding two-wheelers -- all the better to see their pretty hair with. Ajay Devgan is rather impressive, as is Abhishek Bachchan. Vivek Oberoi needs to be less feminine. Esha Deol needs to be less like her mum. And Kareena Kapoor needs a head reduction, and a nose job after that. Maybe it's me, but I was pretty concerned about the way Kareena and Oberoi were diving into the Hooghly, until I realized that they had been transported by the magic of the silver screen to the Seychelles (replace with whatever resort it really was). Even in the Seychelles, Kareena Kapoor looked like Randhir Kapoor (on a diet).

And while I'm at it, may I recommend 'Mad dogs and Englishmen' -- the 2003 vintage of their Shiraz-Cabernet-Monastrell, which I'm pretty sure has a honey finish (and it's a red wine, can you beat that?), but may also have cherry lurking in there somewhere, is inexpensive and has a rather impressive taste, and goes quite well with Yuva. By the time you down the third glass, Kareena Kapoor's nose seems quite nice, and her eyebrows much less bushy, and her head … well, her head still is too big.

And while I'm sure I'll have a hangover tomorrow, I hope it won't be from the movie, because (and I may have mentioned this before, though I paraphrase) 'Mad dogs and Englishmen' rocks!

Nuff zed, Jhed.

Review By: SpeckFortyTwo


Blogger Movie Buff said...

u said u watched sholay for the first time a few days ago and regretted later. means regretted that u had to watch that movie or regretted because u watched that movie so late in ur life

6:37 AM  

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